My hear overflows with a longing to tell you so many things-Oh-there are moments when I find that speech is quite inadequate-Be cheerful- and be for ever my faithful, my only sweetheart, my all, as I am yours. No doubt we shall meet soon and today also time fails me to tell you of the thoughts which during these last few days I have been revolving about my life-If our hearts were always closely united, I would certainly entertain no such thoughts. If we hadn't had those two postillions I should have been left stranded on the way-On the other ordinary road Esterhazy with eight horses met with the same fate as I did with four-Yet I felt to a certain extent that pleasure I always feel when I have overcome some difficulty successfully-Well, let me turn quickly from outer to inner experiences. The coach broke down, of course, owing to the dreadful road which had not been made up and was nothing but a country track. As there were few horses the mail coach chose another route, but what a dreadful road it was at the last state but one I was warned not to travel by night attempts were made to frighten me about a forest, but all this only spurred me on to proceed-and it was wrong of me to do so. Only a few words today, and, what is more, written in pencil (and with your pencil)-I shan't be certain of my rooms here until tomorrow what an unnecessary waste of time is all this-Why this profound sorrow, when necessity speaks-can our love endure without sacrifices, without our demanding everything from one another, can you alter the fact that you are not wholly mine, that I am not wholly yours?-Dear God, look at Nature in all her beauty and set your heart at rest about what must be-Love demands all, and rightly so, and thus it is for me with you, for you with me- but you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you if we were completely united, you would fee this painful necessity just as little as I do-My journey was dreadful and I did not arrive here until yesterday at four o'clock in the morning. July 6th, in the morning My angel, my all, my very self.
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